I waaaaant.

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Omgeee.

Mothers nowadays just don't seem to get the concept of having a diary. Or better yet, the concept of privacy. Still, it was funny. Here's a few things I found from my standard six book - no hard feelings to anyone. Riiight. PS: these poems were made under the supervision of Ai-Vee and Sandeep. Yes, they know about it, but I'm not sure if they remember. I didn't - but then again, I'm in the critical stages of Alzheimers. By the way, these poems don't make sense.

From Ai-Vee To Jay

When our eyes met
For the very first time
I was full of sweat
And you were full of slime

No matter how you look
I don't really care
As long as you read a thick book
I'll light up a flare

Somehow you don't notice me
As a girl who could be considered
All you see is my smile of glee
Not knowing that I am widowed

After the death of my ex
I visited him like a slave
Always using fed-ex
To send flowers to his grave

Be assured
I'm not so bad
Even though I murdered
I hope you're glad


From Sandeep to Osama

I was at the beach
And you showed up
So I ate a peach
And then threw up

You then noticed me
And I was thrilled
Somehow I was happy
That I wasn't killed

Because of that peach
We are now as one
After that day on the beach
We now have a son

You thought him how to use a gun
When he was only two
He didn't even know 1+1
I don't think you did, too

Oops we did it again
We now have a daughter
Her hair looks like a lion's mane
To grow it needs some water

For accidentally bombing your son
You have been sentenced to death
I know you did it just for fun
So appreciate every breath

If you think I'm a fool for publicly humiliating myself this way, MY MOM READ IT. So what's a little embarassment after what happened, huh?

Splendid.

We've got a new canteen administrator. And they serve good food! WOOfreakinHOO!

I'm Baaaaaack. Again.

So I spent the past four days in Singapore, for all it's freakishly litter-free nature and the cough-cough-cough-not-so-nice-cough food. Highlights of the trip:

1. We saw dim-witted men from manhunt singapore live on the runway. Seriously, they were sprawled everywhere onstage, walking aimlessly. And then there was the manager, whom in my opinion was there to save the day, who arranged them in a more organised fashion. Sure he had a beer belly, wore a faded red shirt, was short and other stuff, but that's the thing - he's not in the competition. Surprisingly, I heard people going like... "He's just embarassing himself." and "Serious ah? He so ugly worr." To those people, YOU'RE the one who's embarrasing yourselves with your shallow minds. Sorry, but I couldn't help blogging about it. But not to worry, the worst has yet to come.

2. Sentosa was okay, I guess. Nothing spectacular but kinda cool with it's forts and stuff. So was the night safari.

3. I liked the bus.

4. I liked the train.

5. I did not like the food.

6. I liked my hotel.

7. The last but most interesting part of all - a rare sighting of a drag queen! :D

And that, best beloved, is the end of today's crap.

PS: Again, this, in no way, is to publicly offend the beautiful country that is Singapore. But still, that taxi driver who kept comparing Malaysia to his homeland ought to stop. Seriously, we get it - Malaysia is "in the process of developing". Ciaoers!

i touched a green worm today.

eeeeeee.